lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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