She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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