I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
