Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
