Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
