Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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