You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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