she was so not down for the gang bang
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
