Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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