i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
