Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize