I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
