Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Houston, we have a squirter
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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