Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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