put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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