seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
last night I used snow as a chaser
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
