Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
