every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Blood and glitter go together right?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
