I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
