That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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