bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
