apparently the secret to your success is patron
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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