my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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