i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize