i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
