Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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