she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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