I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
