I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
handjob tips. give me some.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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