I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
do nipples grow back?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize