If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
