I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize