I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
