my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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