When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
