Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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