my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
