she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
