Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
