College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it's like iHOP with fire
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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