i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
