i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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