i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
