I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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