So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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