census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
