I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
