My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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