yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize