Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
