he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
