So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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