direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Also, beer. Big fan.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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