feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
