im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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