The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
