I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
