you're like a bully in the Christmas story
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
